We’ll say it: parenting a child with mental health challenges isn’t easy. Actually, it’s probably one of the hardest challenges you’ll ever face. You’ll see them struggling and want to help them, take over their struggles, and deal with them yourself, but that’s not possible. Instead, you’ll have to watch them find their own ways, feeling stressed and helpless, as the best thing you can do is offer support and encouragement from the side. That’s the worst part: the emotional strain. Even if you’re doing your best, you’ll always feel like that’s not enough or maybe that it’s your fault they’re even going through this. To help you out, in the rest of the article, we’ll share our best strategies and tips for managing the emotional aspect of this problem, and hopefully, by the end of it, you’ll feel less alone.
The Hidden Burden
Parenting a child with mental health challenges can often feel isolating. You might find yourself sitting alone at a family gathering or school event, looking around at other parents, wondering if anyone else understands what you’re going through. It can be easy to think you’re alone in this, but you’re not.
Believe it or not, many parents are going through the same or at least similar struggles with their own children. They’re just not openly talking about it. And, chances are, they feel just as overwhelmed and frustrated as you. You don’t look at them and think they’re bad parents, do you? So why do you set higher standards for yourself? You’re just a human, too.
If you feel like this, consider joining a support group of parents going through similar things. Many states have programs specifically designed to support the parents. For example, the Statewide Family Support Network is a program in Tennessee that supports caregivers of children with Serious Emotional Disturbance (SED). This program provides statewide family outreach, support, and advocacy services.
The Feelings of Guilt
Guilt is a feeling all too familiar to parents of children with mental health issues. You might feel guilty for not recognizing the signs earlier or for not being able to “fix” your child’s mental health. Maybe you feel guilty because you’re tired or because some days, you just don’t want to deal with it anymore. That guilt can weigh heavy on your heart, especially when you know how much your child is struggling.
But guilt won’t serve you. Instead, try to shift your focus toward compassion for yourself for once. Believe you’re doing the best you can with the tools you have. In the end, no parent has all the answers, and it’s okay to feel drained. What matters most is that you keep showing up, even when it’s hard.
Caption: When your child is dealing with mental health challenges, it’s important to celebrate their every win, even if it’s something as small as remembering to take their vitamins or brush their teeth in the morning.
Alt-tag: Black woman and daughter drinking water.
The Emotional Rollercoaster
If parenting in general is a rollercoaster, then parenting a child with mental health struggles is a rollercoaster with extra loops and unexpected drops. One day, things might be okay, and you find yourself daring to hope that maybe, just maybe, the hardest part is behind you. Then, without warning, something happens, and it feels like you’re back at square one.
This emotional back-and-forth, up-and-down can wear you out quickly. The best way to manage this emotional strain is to celebrate the small victories, even when they seem minor.
Moreover, don’t be too hard on yourself or your child when setbacks do happen. Progress is rarely linear. There will be steps backward, and that’s okay as long as it’s eventually followed by a step forward.
Let Go of Perfection
One of the biggest obstacles to managing emotional strain is letting go of the idea that you need to have everything under control. As we discussed, it’s natural to want to fix things for your child. When they’re struggling, you want to step in, wave a magic wand, and make everything better. But mental health isn’t something you can just fix. There will be good days and bad days, and you won’t always have the answers.
The truth is, there’s no perfect way to parent a child with mental health issues. There will be moments when you question every decision you make. But perfection is a myth. What matters most is showing up for your child, doing your best, and offering them love and support, even when things feel messy.
Caption: Don’t underestimate the importance of speaking to a professional such as a therapist or a counselor.
Alt-tag: Teen boy at a therapist’s office.
Seek Professional Support
Therapy for your child, yourself, or both can make a significant difference when things get hard. A professional therapist can offer coping strategies and emotional tools to help navigate mental health challenges.
Seeking help from professionals doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a parent; it means you’re doing everything in your power to provide the best support for your child. And you don’t have to feel like you’re the only one. This is especially important to note for those who live in states that rank poorly when it comes to mental health, such as Tennessee, West Virginia, or Arkansas.
According to a 2021 study, nearly one in four Tennessee youth ages 3-17 is suffering from some kind of mental, emotional, or other problem. In other words, there are many parents struggling with this. Fortunately, programs like those offered by Time Wellness Tennessee provide comprehensive care that addresses the needs of both the child and the family. Whether through individual therapy, family counseling, or even working with your child’s school, professional help can alleviate some of the strain you’re feeling.
Manage Your Own Mental Health
It’s easy to get lost in caring for your child and neglect your own needs. But your emotional well-being is just as important. You know what they say: you can’t pour from an empty cup. If you’re struggling yourself, it’s going to be hard to be there for your child in the way they need you.
Finding time for self-care is not selfish; it’s essential. And it doesn’t have to be anything huge to be effective. A small act like talking to a friend, taking a relaxing bath, or even going for a walk can make a huge difference.
Set Boundaries
As much as you love your child and probably endlessly, it’s important to set boundaries for your own emotional well-being. However, we understand this can feel counterintuitive. After all, you want to be there for them in every way possible. But constantly being “on” for someone else without taking care of yourself can lead to burnout.
Setting boundaries can look differently for anyone, but at the core, it’s all about taking a break or asking for help when things feel too heavy. Talking to a therapist, whether online or in person, helps you put things in perspective and find new healthy ways to deal with all the overwhelming emotions.
In Conclusion
Parenting a child with mental health challenges is not an easy journey. Just like in life in general, some days will be harder than others. However, this journey will teach you a lot about patience and unconditional love. It will also teach you it’s okay not to have all the answers. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. What matters is that you keep going, one step at a time, for your child and for yourself.
Resources:
https://www.banyanmentalhealth.com/blog/guide-to-parenting-a-child-with-a-mental-illness/
https://www.pacer.org/cmh/learning-center/parenting/self-care/stress-of-raising-a-child.asp
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3999601/
https://sycamoretn.org/child-and-adolescent-mental-health-in-tennessee/
Meta:
Parenting a child with mental health challenges can be very difficult. Learn more about these difficulties and the emotional strain.
Jessica has a flair for writing engaging blogs and articles. She enjoys reading and learning new things which enables her to write different topics and fields with ease. She also strives to break down complex concepts and make them easy for anybody to comprehend.
