How to Communicate Effectively With Your Adolescent About Mental Health

Have you noticed your teen acting strangely? Maybe they’ve started to withdraw or seem less attentive to their hygiene. Any change, no matter how small, especially if it happens suddenly, can be a symptom of a bigger issue. You’re worried and want to ask what’s going on… but how? It seems like there’s never a right moment to bring up the topic of mental health. And even if the moment comes, what should you say? How do you communicate effectively with your adolescent about mental health?

We hear you, and you’re not alone! That’s why we’re here to discuss the right communication techniques to help your child recover emotionally. Implement them, and you’ll also ease your worries.

Is Your Adolescent Suffering From a Mental Problem?

The world we live in is complicated. Our lives are incredibly fast-paced, and the sad thing is most parents don’t have enough time to dedicate to their children. No wonder mental health and behavioral issues are on the rise, and, unfortunately, young people are not spared. If you notice any signs of mental health problems in your teen, it is best to seek professional help without delay.  The first step is choosing an accredited and reputable behavioral health center that provides cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy, and family therapy.

These provide relief from medical conditions like:

• ADHD,
• PTSD,
• Anxiety,
• Depression,
• Schizophrenia,

And many others.

And while mental and behavioral health problems start in early childhood — typically between the ages of 2 and 8 — they often remain undiagnosed for years.

Why?

Because:

A: Kids aren’t aware that something’s ”wrong,”, so they can’t articulate the problem.

B: Parents fail to notice the signs of mental problems.

But believe us, the signs are there, and they typically include:

• Frequent mood swings
• Loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed
• Changes in sleep patterns
• Changes in eating habits
• Drops in academic performance
• Physical symptoms (e.g., frequent headaches, stomach aches, etc.)
• Expressing hopelessness or worthlessness
• Self-harm and/or risky behavior
• Social isolation
• Difficulty concentrating
• Excessive worry or fear

Why Parents Should Not Avoid Talking About Mental Health With Their Adolescents

Avoiding talking with your teen will not solve the issue. It can only make it worse.

For instance, if your adolescent is dealing with depression or anxiety, and you fail to acknowledge the problem — let alone deal with it —you make them more susceptible to dangerous behaviors like self-harm or substance abuse.

Failure to communicate properly can also impact your relationship. Your adolescent may want to talk to you, but they don’t know how and are waiting for you to initiate the conversation.

Seeing that you aren’t doing anything about it, they may start thinking you don’t care about them enough to notice something isn’t right, let alone care about what they’re going through. This creates a wall between you, making it harder to connect and support them. Consequently, it may make your child feel like they’re the only ones struggling, leading them to isolate further.

Interested in learning how to communicate with your children in a positive way that encourages them to open up about their mental health struggles? Let’s cover the main steps you should take!

1. Be Honest

Your child can tell when you’re not honest or trying to sugarcoat things. So, by all means, don’t do it.

Not sure where to start? Share your own story (if you have one). It’s ok to let them know that you’ve had tough times. It will make the whole conversation all the more relatable!

For example, you can say:

”I’ve felt anxious before, and it helped me to talk about it. How about you? Have you been feeling something similar?”

Also, don’t beat around the bush — be direct. If you notice they’ve been acting differently, point it out gently but clearly.

You can say something like:

”You’ve been quiet lately and not hanging out with your friends as much. I’m worried about you. Can we talk about what’s going on?”

2. Listen More Than You Talk

Now that you’ve initiated the conversation, it’s time to switch gears and focus on what your teen has to say. Put away distractions like your phone and maintain eye contact to show them you’re present and ready to listen.

While at it, pay attention to their words, body language, and tone of voice.

Don’t interrupt them as they talk! Instead, let them finish their thoughts and, only then, jump in.

3. Don’t Invalidate Their Feelings

Whatever you do, don’t downplay your adolescent’s emotions — they will stop confiding in you! Instead, acknowledge their feelings and let them know it’s ok to feel the way they do.

The appropriate responses in this case are: “That sounds really tough” or “It’s understandable to feel frustrated in that situation.”

4. Learn to Get Comfortable With Silence

So, you’ve initiated the conversation, and while you hoped for a heart-to-heart, your teen shuts down. Maybe they mumble “nothing’s wrong.” Or they retreat to their room, leaving you feeling frustrated and utterly helpless.

This is when you need to remember: it’s ok if they’re not ready to open up.

So, what do you do?

You respect their boundaries and let them come to you when ready. Pushing them doesn’t do anyone good. In fact, it can only make them feel pressured and further discourage them from opening up.

5. Look for Professional Support if Needed

Let’s say your child has chosen to bare their soul, but you simply don’t know what to say. That’s fine. As long as you are there to listen and embrace them, they are sure to feel better.

But know this: nobody (your adolescent included) expects you to be a superhero with all the answers.

For those moments when you don’t know what to say or their problem is bigger than you initially thought, getting them professional help is the best solution.

Approaching the subject of therapy isn’t easy. Your child may even object to it. However, what you can do is reassure them that you’ll be there to support them throughout the process. For example, you can offer to research the therapists in the area, attend family therapy with them, or find another solution to ease them into the healing process.

The Moment to Approach Your Adolescent About Their Mental Health is Now!

If you are waiting for the perfect opportunity to arise to communicate effectively with your adolescent about mental health, I am sorry to burst your bubble. It will never come. In fact, the longer you wait to take action, the higher the chances that your child’s condition will spiral out of control. The best course of action? Act the moment you notice something may be wrong! Initiate the conversation, however hard it may be, and pay close attention to what they have to say during it. If they don’t feel like sharing much, that’s ok. Respect their boundaries and silence.

They’ll approach you when they feel ready. But if things don’t improve after some time, get them professional help. They may not be very appreciative of your doing so now. But trust us: once they recover, they’ll thank you for it.

Sources:

https://www.cdc.gov/childrensmentalhealth/data.html