Bullying is a form of repeated aggressive behavior that occurs when a person or a group of people in a position of power deliberately abuse, intimidate, or coerce an individual to cause either physical or emotional hurt.
Bullying can be done by using unwanted actions or words, usually more than once, and can happen in your neighborhood, while going to school, at school, or even online, which is referred to as cyberbullying.
Cyberbullying can take place over social media, sms, email or on an online platform the person is interacting on.Since parents are usually unaware of what children are doing on the internet,it can be difficult to detect if your child is being affected.
The most vulnerable children who face a higher risk of being a victim of bullying come from marginalized communities, those with different gender identities or children with disabilities.
How To Spot Signs In Children And Teens
While some children do open up and tell their parents that they are being teased and threatened, others may not say anything at all and become a cause of worry.
While there is no single way to find out if your child is being bullied, as it depends entirely on the child’s personality and how he reacts to being bullied. Still here are some signs to look out for:
- Torn clothes
- Scratches,bruises and cuts
- Missing property
- Poor eating or sleeping
- Avoid going to school
- Have trouble with homework
- Losing contact with classmates
- Becoming withdrawn or secretive
Some of these signs would be more apparent at the end of the week or holidays when your child is about to go back to school.
Bullying in teenagers is even harder to spot as at that age your child might feel afraid or ashamed to open up as it may become a source of worry for the parent.
However, there are some signs of teenage bullying which a parent can spot. Your child might refuse to go to school or skip school altogether without your knowledge.
Your child may also express fear of school and start getting low grades. Emotional changes like low self-confidence, anxiety and consumption of alcohol and drugs can occur. Bullied teens can suddenly get upset after being online or delete social media accounts unexpectedly.
The Long Lasting Effects Of Bullying
Many adults who have not been bullied have little idea of how tough it is on kids and how much they have to suffer. They fail to understand how heartbreaking and miserable it is for those targeted and the significant impact it can have on their future lives.
Lack of low self-esteem is also the direct result of the hurtful things like ‘fat’ and ‘stupid’ bullies say to children as a result of which over a period of time they begin to feel as if they are true.
Bullied victims also tend to go through a range of intense emotions which makes them feel angry, isolated, vulnerable and helpless. Not only do they begin to skip school but resort to substance abuse to lessen the pain.
If intervention does not take place it leads to a more helpless situation where the targeted children believe that they can do nothing to change the situation and slide down into depression.
Later on in life, when these kids have grown into adulthood,they may continue to show low self-esteem and avoid social interaction.They will also find it difficult to trust others, which may ultimately impact their relationships.
Kids who are a target of bullies suffer academically as well as they find it hard to concentrate on studies, complete homework, forget assignments and have difficulty in paying attention in class as they are too distracted by bullying leading to low marks and slipping grades.
It is also common for siblings and parents to be affected when their child is bullied. Failure to protect the child can make parents feel powerless and feel alone and isolated, often at the expense of their own well-being.
What Is The Healing Process
Empowerment comes from within, but there are a number of external sources of support to help you recover from bullying and reclaim power.
When a child is bullied, healing may be more of a challenge than envisaged. In fact,the after effects of bullying last much longer after the bullying has ended.
There are several important things to be addressed right away if the child has to heal from bullying.They should learn to focus on their future goals, rather than being too obsessed over the current bullying experience.
Seeking help from a counselor or therapist can speed things up to a great extent.You can consult your local child pediatrician for suggesting one in your area for someone who specializes in healing from childhood trauma.
Another effective way of recovery from bullying is to find a supportive community that has gone through a similar experience. This can be done either in person or online.
Victims of bullying can also benefit from online therapy counseling to help them process their emotions and develop coping strategies that build resilience.
Online therapy for teens who suffer from bullying can be provided by expert health providers and therapists on an individual or group basis. There are several therapies like cognitive behavioral therapy, individual therapy or bullying group therapy to deal with the situation.
Online therapy for bullying is ideal for those unwilling to open up and admit their bullying conduct. In addition, online counseling provides the child a safe place in their own home, where they can address their concerns with feelings of being heard and not judged. This is extremely beneficial for kids who suffer from social anxiety.
An Occupational therapist, freelance content writer and more importantly a stay-at-home mom, Sara, like all other parents juggles her many roles. Her passion for writing combined with her professional expertise as an Occupational therapist (working with children with special needs) has helped her craft content specific to child health, wellness and learning skills. At present, Sara alternates her time between raising her two young children, and writing about what she knows best- children!
