There are many different ways in which low-confidence levels can impact your life. For example, you may find that low self-esteem holds you back both professionally and personally, meaning that many opportunities pass you by.
Furthermore, while there are many different experiences or factors that could lead to low confidence, studies have found that motherhood tends to be a significant trigger for many. For example, a recent report found that “nearly two-thirds (63%) of new moms said that their self-esteem had decreased since becoming a parent.”
Is it Normal to Feel Less Confident After Having Children?
Becoming a parent is a beautiful experience – which is why many moms may be reluctant to talk about the struggles that come alongside this. However, the truth is, it’s perfectly normal to feel as though your confidence dips dramatically after having children. For example, this could be caused by:
- A changing relationship with your body (or feeling as though you have to lose any baby weight right away)
- Not taking care of yourself properly (or feeling as though you don’t have time to)
- Neglecting self-care and rest
- Comparing yourself to other parents
- A loss of agency as parenting takes up all of your time and energy
While feeling this way is common, it’s not something that you have to learn to live with. After all, there are many ways in which you begin to rebuild your confidence so that you feel more like your old self again!
Seven Ways to Restore Your Confidence as a Busy Mom
Celebrate Your Body
Moms are often under a lot of pressure to bounce back into their pre-baby body after having a child. However, this is far easier said than done, given that our bodies undergo many changes during (and after) childbirth. As a result, it’s crucial that you’re able to celebrate and embrace your body as it is without feeling the need to change it.
After all, your body has done amazing things – it’s brought an entirely new life into the world – and this alone is worth celebrating. Fortunately, there are many ways in which you can begin to improve your relationship with your body.
For example, you could start by simply changing the way you talk about it. Each time you catch yourself criticizing your appearance, cut the thought short and replace it with at least three positive ones. While this may be difficult, to begin with, the more you get into the habit of doing this, the easier it will be to keep negative thoughts at bay.
You should also ensure that you embrace your mommy style by wearing clothes that are comfortable and make you feel good instead of feeling as though you have to conform to the latest styles or trends.
Perfect Your Skincare Routine
Developing an effective skincare routine is a simple yet effective way to boost your confidence. This is because it can help you to feel more comfortable in your own skin instead of avoiding looking in the mirror. Furthermore, a good skincare routine will leave you with a natural, healthy glow, meaning you’ll feel confident on the days when you don’t have enough time to do your makeup!
One of the easiest ways to combat skincare complaints is to do your research. When you understand exactly what you’re dealing with, whether that be acne or dry skin, you can work to avoid potential triggers and know exactly how to treat issues as they arise. For example, if you’re dealing with dry skin, you may find this guide useful: Dry Patches On Skin: Symptoms, Causes, And Treatment.
Once you’ve done your research, you can begin to curate a skincare routine that is directly tailored to your needs. In any case, it’s best to keep this as simple as possible so that you can slot your routine into your daily schedule.
Set Daily Goals
Feelings of success or achievement can quickly boost our confidence. As such, setting yourself daily goals can be a great way to restore your confidence as a parent, as it feels as though you’re being more productive with your time.
When setting daily goals for yourself, it’s important that they are manageable. After all, if you give yourself too much to do, this can quickly lead to you feeling stressed or overwhelmed – which, in turn, could harm your confidence. For example, you set yourself the goal of working through some household chores or carrying out some life admin.
Find Your Community
While a lot of our self-confidence is dictated by internal factors, it can also be negatively (or positively) impacted by those we spend our time with, too. For example, if you spend your free time with people who are inherently negative or seem keen to put you down, their viewpoints will begin to reflect in your own thoughts. In short, they could be dragging your confidence down to new lows.
As such, it’s crucial that you’re able to identify the signs of a toxic friendship or relationship so that you are able to remove yourself from this if possible. If you don’t want to cut them off entirely, it’s important that you address their behavior and set boundaries moving forward.
Beyond this, it’s vital that you find your community – a group of people who will always uplift you and help your confidence reach new heights. When you’ve found these people, ensure you spend as much time with them as possible.
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparing ourselves to others is another common confidence killer. This is because, in paying attention to others’ successes, it feels as though we’re also zoning in on our own failures. However, if you’re able to take a step back and acknowledge that we’re all on our own journey, you can nip this comparison in the bud. After all, just because you’re not where you want to be right now doesn’t mean you’ll never get there.
While you may find yourself comparing yourself to those your interact with in real life, most of these comparisons happen digitally. For example, a recent report found that “approximately 90% of women compare themselves with others on social media.” As such, if this is quickly becoming a negative habit of yours, it’s important that you begin to re-examine your relationship with social media.
If it is not a healthy place for you to spend time, leaving you feeling stressed and anxious, you should reduce the amount of time you spend scrolling or at least give yourself a break from the screen.
However, it’s also important to remember that social media is not real life. Firstly, we only post content onto these pages when we have something to ‘show off or celebrate. So, while it may feel like someone is always “winning” based on the content they post, this isn’t the case – they just aren’t posting the bad or tedious parts of their days. Furthermore, some 50% of all images posted on social media are edited. As such, if you’re feeling self-conscious because you don’t look like a social media model, it’s important to note that they likely don’t look like that either!
Make Time for Your Hobbies
Making time for your hobbies is another excellent way to boost your confidence. In fact, various studies have found that “people who take part in leisure activities have fewer negative emotions and are less stressed.” Hobbies also help us work towards goals, leaving us feeling more fulfilled in all aspects of our lives.
As such, if you’re feeling that your self-esteem has taken a turn for the worst really, consider picking up a new hobby or returning to one from your past. You’ll soon notice that the more time you dedicate to this hobby, whether it be painting or white-water rafting, the more your confidence will grow, especially as you become more skilled in this specific area.
Complement Yourself (and Others)
As discussed above, finding ways to encourage your mind to be inherently more positive can also do wonders for your confidence. This is because you’re then less likely to contribute to negative thought cycles regarding anything that could impact your confidence, whether that be your appearance or parenting skills. As such, you should try to complement yourself as much as possible.
While on the surface, this could seem self-absorbed, studies have found that giving compliments to ourselves fires off the same hormone boosters in our brain that are triggered when we receive compliments from others. This means that your body’s production of happiness-related hormones such as serotonin increases, and we feel more confident as a consequence of this. As such, you should try to complement yourself a few times a day.
However, there’s no reason why you alone should benefit from this new habit – be sure to complement others too. Overall, this can help you to become kinder and more positive, which means it can once again help you to rebuild your confidence.
My name is Andrea Thompson and I’m a home based freelance writer. I’m 23 years old, married to my best friend, and mother to a wonderfully independent and opinionated 3 year old girl and step-mother to a sweet seven year old boy. I live in a tiny, little town in Kentucky, where I spend my free time fishing with my kids.
Writing has always been my passion, which I followed through high school, and for a while in college. Life happened, and once I discovered we were pregnant, I switched directions; opting for the healthcare industry because of the stability.
Finally, years later, I was in a place where I could leave the day job that never truly made me happy, and pursue my dreams. I’ve built, and am still building, my writing career from scratch. But, I’m passionate and I’m good at what I do. And, in the end, I can prove to my daughter that she can do anything she wants with this life.
