James E. Faust once said, “The depth of the love of parents for their children cannot be measured. It is like no other relationship. It exceeds concern for life itself. The love of a parent for a child is continuous and transcends heartbreak and disappointment.”
One cannot overemphasize the importance of both parents’ love and care in a child’s life. The father and a mother have different and unique roles to play to bring up a child to be a blessing to society.
However, if a child is to choose between both parents, most children would choose mom over Dad almost every time.
Why is that usually the case? Let us delve into reasons why majority of kids choose mom over dad. This article does not downplay a father’s contribution in the home but states that moms do more in the home than dads in most cases.
The close bond between a mother and her child
Bonding refers to the special attachment that grows between a mother and her baby; the reason she can’t stop staring at, or kissing her baby, that feeling that she would do anything for her baby, the drive behind the urge to protect her baby with her life.
A child is more attached to his mother possibly because of the biological connection after spending approximately nine months of his early life right inside of her and then suckling her breasts as an infant.
How does this bond happen?
The bond between a mother and her baby starts at pregnancy. All through the months of pregnancy, a mother and her child coexist in one body. The grief a mother feels after experiencing a miscarriage shows the depth of the bond created during pregnancy.
Another reason a child is closer to the mom is the breastfeeding factor. Apart from the skin to skin contact right after birth, most midwives advise mothers to breastfeed after delivery to encourage bonding.
During breastfeeding, oxytocin, the love hormone that promotes bonding between mum and baby, is released, fostering the mother and child bond.
The Mother is usually the Primary Caregiver
A primary caregiver to a child is the parent who can best meet the child’s needs or the parent who has been caring for the child the most. This care might include feeding the child, playing, bathing, watching over the child, waking and putting the child down for naps or bedtime, making doctor appointments, or generally arranging for child care.
Because most women are full-time moms and stay at home with the kids while the father goes to work, a child spends most of his time with the mother.
It is common to see a family with a dad that often travels for work, staying weeks, even months away from their family. In some families even, in search of greener pastures, fathers spend years abroad, leaving the kids with their mum.
Even after some dads arrive home from work, they don’t try to connect with their kids. They would spend their time at home on their phones, watching TV, or sleeping after a long day at work. Or in some cases by the time Dad gets home from work the kids are already in bed.
Mothers are there to provide emotional support
When kids in the family have troubles bothering them, they are more likely to approach the mom for help than the dad. In cases where they can’t talk, they still feel more comfortable to text mom or write her a letter than dad.
One of the reasons mothers always provide emotional support is because they can quickly notice a child’s countenance and find out when something is wrong.
A mother is the first option for a child for support because he is more comfortable talking to the mum since he spends more time with her and has more contact with her.
In most families, fathers are the disciplinarian while the mom is more lenient with the kids making them see the mom as nicer than dad. This friendly nature of the mother makes her more approachable to the kids than the father.
When a child has relationship issues, especially a girl child, she approaches her mum for comforting, soothing words. We should not forget what a mother’s hug can do; it can make all of a child’s worry disappear.
Emotional support is extremely important for children as there brain develops and learns to deal with and handle different emotions. It could be argued that this is a major factor in why kids choose moms over dads quite often.
Mom is a cook in the home
No restaurant recipe can compare to mom’s home cooking. The latter is prepared with so much love and care. In most cases, the first meal a child eats is from the mother – her breast milk.
From feeding her child with breastmilk or complimentary food straight from a bottle to giving the child proper solid food, she always makes sure her child is well fed.
A mother is also there to prepare the right food for the right occasion; The chicken soup she makes when you’re sick or the fresh batches of chocolate chip cookies and cakes when there is something to celebrate. During holiday celebrations like Thanksgiving, she is also there to make that yummy looking turkey for the whole family.
The family members all look forward to coming home to eat a home-cooked meal by mom with her unique recipes. These recipes she passes on to her children, and it keeps transferring from generation to generation.
A loss of a Mother in the house hits harder
Edwin Hubbell Chapin once said, “No language can express the power, and beauty, and heroism, and majesty of a mother’s love. It shrinks not where man cowers, and grows stronger where man faints, and over wastes of worldly fortunes sends the radiance of its quenchless fidelity like a star.”
Some kids no longer enjoy this mother’s love due to their mother’s death or because they live apart from their mom. The lack of a mother’s love in the life of some kids has left them shattered and broken-hearted.
Most of these kids shut themselves away from the world. They build high walls, hindering others, even those who care, from penetrating. This reaction from kids shows the importance of a mother’s love.
There are some little things that a mother does for her child that means a lot. Moms messages and words of comfort and encouragement on a bad day or praises for the achievement generously can lift a child’s spirit. Sadly, a child no longer receives these when mom is gone.
Interestingly, new-age virtual mom apps like Messages from Mom have found a way to make a child still feel mum’s presence even if she is gone. Its features include sending you mom-related motivational messages and quotes, and reminders on important events like birthdays or mothers’ day.
As a virtual mother app, it also sends the bereaved person daily reminders of activities that their mom would usually remind them.
The app is available on Google Play Store or Apple Store and worth a trial for anyone looking for a way to deal with a mother’s loss.
Conclusion
While it is true that a child needs both parents’ love for proper development, a mother plays a significant role in a child’s life. The members of the family intensely feel both her presence and absence in the home.
The bond between a child and his mother is more significant than that of the father. A mother is a primary caregiver in the home who provides emotional support to the kids and prepares meals.
To regain a measure of the damage caused by the absence of a mother in one’s life, the Messages from Mom app delivers reminders and sends out messages on key dates to a person, a job usually done by a mom.
My name is Andrea Thompson and I’m a home based freelance writer. I’m 23 years old, married to my best friend, and mother to a wonderfully independent and opinionated 3 year old girl and step-mother to a sweet seven year old boy. I live in a tiny, little town in Kentucky, where I spend my free time fishing with my kids.
Writing has always been my passion, which I followed through high school, and for a while in college. Life happened, and once I discovered we were pregnant, I switched directions; opting for the healthcare industry because of the stability.
Finally, years later, I was in a place where I could leave the day job that never truly made me happy, and pursue my dreams. I’ve built, and am still building, my writing career from scratch. But, I’m passionate and I’m good at what I do. And, in the end, I can prove to my daughter that she can do anything she wants with this life.
