Are you in a good relationship but often get overwhelmed with feelings of jealousy towards your significant other? Do you ask yourself often how to stop being jealous?
Keep reading because these 4 tips can change your perspective completely!
What bothered me personally about being jealous was –
How draining this intense feeling is.
- I became fixed on someone else.
- It made me “freeze” completely, or “blush” with solid anger.
- Stopped me from doing a lot of useful things that I needed to do.
- It consumed my time and, ultimately, stole it.
Frankly, jealousy didn’t make any sense to me. I knew it was rooted in the need to control my partner, and that’s something that will never happen.
I decided to end, once and for all, those fiery flames of jealousy within me.
I battled with it and I kept pushing towards a way out of this, and it finally happened.
Here are 4 basic steps to help you how to stop being jealous, or at least, see it in a new and refreshing way!
Step 1: Create Space For Yourself To Be Excited
If you’re sitting in your jealousy for a long time, perhaps it’s time for you to get up and do something else together. To me, that screams “Excitement”!
I’ll tell you why.
Being in a state of excitement is when –
You think differently.
- You’re focused on other things.
- You’re using creative thinking in the process.
When you’re open and available to tackle excitement in your life – you don’t leave much room to be occupied with the negativity that jealousy can bring.
Jealousy – Out, True Satisfaction – In!
Is it a good time to talk about all of your favorite hobbies and hidden talents that are currently collecting dust in your closet?
I found that the best time of all to open that special closet is when you’re struggling with being jealous!
A loved partner can only do so much to make us feel wanted and appreciated, but the things that we love to do can give us the real satisfaction we truly seek.
Step 2: Put Your Mind To Practice To Stop Being Jealous
To be able to reconnect with your old passions and to start taking positive and useful steps –
Work with your mind and ‘thought patterns’.
So far, you are used to being jealous of your partner, you are used to thinking about it, especially the things that hurt you the most.
To complete Step 2, you will have to start taking charge and control over thoughts and inner dialogue that brings you down.
Remember that changing the outlook can dramatically change outcomes, so that’s an important step!
How should you work your thoughts –
- Take a much lighter and easier approach than before.
- Use lots of humor with yourself.
- Change the course of your regular inner dialogue and try to steer it in new directions.
- Focus on your hobbies, your projects, your work, or anything in your life worth investing in.
It can help to stop being jealous by Nurturing and developing those things and avoiding entertaining thoughts regarding jealousy.
Step3: Create Boundaries to Stop Being Jealous
Obsessive jealousy and ‘loose’ boundaries with your significant other usually go hand in hand.
It’s advised to take a break and re-evaluate your personal boundaries as an individual within a committed relationship.
Think about the boundaries that you truly need and be fair and practical with yourself when setting boundaries.
Create those boundaries for yourself, not your partner.
For example, if your jealousy causes you to cross personal boundaries, start working on that.
Check with yourself if you’re crossing any personal red lines that you shouldn’t.
- Do you let your partner have their time alone?
- Do you keep and acknowledge their privacy and private matters?
- Do you respect their relationships with others?
Setting personal boundaries means leaving some things for the both of you to participate together as partners, and some for yourself alone.
Once you claim your private time and fully respect and understand your partner’s private time, you truly start to depart from the negativity of jealousy.
Learn To Support Yourself By Yourself!
Regularly set dates with yourself alone when you’re in a committed relationship.
As soon as you start your first weekly date with yourself, you will notice a shift in the way you experience concerns, worries, and stress due to feeling jealousy.
How about going to a concert or a party by yourself to loosen up and dance?
How about having a swim by yourself in the ocean?
It can be anything in the world, but the most important part is that you’re leaving less space to sit in your jealousy and more space for exploration and personal development.
Step 4: Keep Some Good Jealousy In Your Pocket
Jealousy is not always negative and overbearing, and not always destructive.
It all depends on the amount.
Keeping some level of jealousy between you and your partner can be the fertilizer for your soil!
Instead of being destructive, the right amount of jealousy can enrich your relationship and bring you even closer.
Jealousy Is A Natural Feeling.
So feel it! But don’t allow yourself to be taken by it completely.
What does it REALLY mean to feel jealousy of your significant other?
It means that you love them a lot and want them to stay in your life.
It’s essentially very positive, so make the efforts to keep it that way!
So, if you find yourself struggling with jealousy on a regular basis, try implementing some of these steps to stop being jealous.
It may take some time and effort, but eventually, you should start to see a decrease in your feelings of jealousy and be able to enjoy your life more fully.
Have you tried any of these tips to stop being jealous? What worked or didn’t work for you? Let us know in the comments below.
Our article 7 Keys to a Successful Marriage [Stress-Free Relationship] might help, read on.
Shani Shani is a trained and experienced Personal Coach and Spiritual Consultant. She has a professional background in TV broadcasting, working with intellectual disabilities, drugs addictions, and the homeless.
Shani has had a passion for writing since birth, she writes about: Personal Improvement & relationship topics from a personal coach perspective, Spirituality, Religions, and Marketing.
Today Shani lives in Tauranga, New Zealand with her partner and their three young children, she is a Freelance Writer, Online Personal Coach, and the editor of her own awareness project about drug addictions.