When parents divorce, children have a front-row seat.
Yes, That’s TRUE…
This event, far from being trivial for them, can have many negative consequences of divorce.
Anxiety, stress, feelings of abandonment, behavioral problems, and more…
And… here is how parents divorce can influence your child’s development:
The Short-Term Consequences Of Parents Divorce
Family break-up is a difficult ordeal for children to manage!
Let’s face it now…
Following a divorce, some consequences can be immediate, while others are felt in the long term.
In the first few months after separation, many feelings can control them.
On the other hand,
The little ones are just like sponges that absorb all the negative feelings observed in those around them.
If the parents are anxious about the divorce, so will the little ones.
As simple as that…
It’s up to you to reassure them and to show yourself serene.
Leave your problems aside when you are with them, this will avoid making them feel your anxieties.
2. Parents Divorce Causes Constant Stress
Children often believe they are the cause of their parents’ divorce…
You gotta consider these mommies and daddies…
This thought can then be the source of a great source of stress and pressure.
A feeling of guilt can inhabit them… and will stay with them for too long!
It is important to make them understand that despite the separation your love for them remains intact.
3. Disillusionment Following Parental Divorce
When parents separate, disillusionment is a feeling that is often felt…
Children idealize the relationship between their parents and can feel totally helpless when the latter decides to divorce.
This calls into question their family pattern and all their daily habits…
The disillusionment maybe even worse if parents are in conflict and tear each other apart!
What to do then?
The ideal in this situation is to protect your child well, avoiding quarrels in front of him.
Do your best to maintain a calm atmosphere in his presence, to show him that the divorce can also take place in good conditions.
4. Possible Mood Swings
We can notice in the children of divorced recurring irritability, even with their relatives.
The separation can lead to mood swings.
In some cases, they withdraw into themselves and refuse dialogue, preferring to remain alone.
How to minimize this???
Show your child that you are there for them and that they can talk to you whenever they feel the need.
Also, respect his silence at first, and give him time to deal with this news that may seem sudden to him.
5. A feeling Of Abandonment Following The Divorce
After the divorce, one of the two parents leaves the home: a new difficult situation for the child to accept.
This departure is often perceived as an abandonment…
The little one must then learn to live far from his father or his mother, and no longer share the moments of everyday life.
It is up to you to reassure him at this level and to explain to him that he will continue to see both his parents.
Explain that the person in your relationship who leaves will still be there for him despite the divorce…
6. Three Times More Likely To Get Sick In This Situation
Children not only suffer morally during a divorce but also their health can be damaged.
Stressful and distressing experiences can indeed have harmful consequences on physiology and inflammatory processes.
By applying all of the tips mentioned above, you will be able to avoid too much stress for your little one.
Long-Term Repercussions Of Parents Divorce
The consequences of parental divorce may appear later and can affect the children permanently…
Let’s take a closer look now…
7. The Child May Develop Behavioral And Social Problems
In the long term, divorce can lead to violent and/or unruly behavior on the part of the child, or a tendency to rebellion.
These troubles frequently arise when divorce has been a source of conflict and hostility, with the child held hostage in the middle.
Here are some tips for you…
You have to take the problem at the source, and make sure that your separation takes place in the best possible conditions.
Stay there for your son or daughter, and don’t hesitate to suggest a meeting with a psychologist if he or she needs to talk about it to an outside person.
8. Parents’ Divorce Is A Source Of Sentimental Problems
Children who witness a parental separation risk expressing real doubts about love…
They can then refuse relationships or commitment, for lack of self-confidence.
Negativity will control their minds…
After going through their parents’ divorce, they may also tend to start their own romantic stories with a negative mind.
How to avoid it???
The best way to reassure them is to make sure that your separation isn’t associated with something negative.
You must maintain a long-term amicable relationship with your ex-partner, and both remain present at all times for your little one.
Communication will be essential…
You can also help your child regain self-confidence by encouraging them to express their feelings.
9. Parents Divorce Can Lead To Depression
It is common for this situation to make children sad, and for them to feel that nothing is going on in their life.
But keep in mind, though,
… if sadness sets in for a long time, it can turn into full-blown depression.
Despite the separation, it is essential to remain attentive to all the symptoms (mood swings, stress, anxiety, loss of appetite, intense fatigue, etc.) to act as quickly as possible.
In such cases, the best thing to do is to get professional advice…
Have your son or daughter accompany a psychologist who will help him sort out all his emotions and better accept the situation.
10. School Failure, A Possible Consequence
At the heart of this conflictual situation, the student may have difficulty concentrating at school and end up losing interest in his lessons.
Let’s be realistic, here…
Working at home and doing homework can also be complicated when parents are arguing.
Stress, anxiety, depression, lack of self-confidence…
… all these direct consequences of divorce, in the more or less long term, can then lead to a child’s failure at school.
Make sure, despite the divorce, that your child has a quiet place to work.
Do not hesitate to offer him your help with his homework.
If he encounters difficulties, the intervention of a home teacher to catch up, or simply regain confidence may be wise.
You should know that all children are not equal when it comes to parents divorce.
Each of them is likely to react differently depending on their age or those around them.
Children are more likely to experience the situation well when they receive support from those around them.
This can be the case with their siblings, especially if they are older. They can also find peace with grandparents, for example.
To learn more positive parenting tips, follow the links below. In this article, you will learn different skills on how to develop your children. Make them happy and build their strong and positive personality.
Dema JS is the founder of newbabysmell.com and a mother of two little kids.
She had her MBA from St. John’s University- NYC in dual concentrations: Executive Management and Marketing Management.