Best Advice to New Parents: What Parenting Is Not?
As we all believe in hands-on learning and the job way of experiencing, we have our own share of ups and downs as parents. The bumps hit us more when we think that we have innate skills of raising children and we can’t go wrong. If we understand what parenting is not, it helps us save ourselves from some obvious mistakes that we as parents make. Here’s and take a look at some best advice to new parents.
Parenting is not a milestone, It is a journey
“The day she/he joins a pre-school, I can go back to work”,
“The day he becomes 18, he’/she can be on his/her own” are some statements that we use to fool ourselves.
Children remain our topmost priority after entering our lives and remain unfazed so for the rest of our lives.
We can never think of this relationship as one we can take our attention off of. It has a beginning but no end. It is an unending journey where a journey in totality matters more than milestones.
My daughter is appearing for Xth grade exams this year. The night before one of her exams, she was a tad nervous.
“Will you be upset if I don’t do well tomorrow?” she asked. “Not at all,” I said, “I can’t be upset with my daughter for her performance. I will be upset to see her upset.” “That is what makes our relationship stronger,” she said.
Her performance is not a milestone that influences me, our journey together is an influencer.
Not About Instructions, It is a Prayer
“Why didn’t you listen when I told you to keep a smile while singing?”
“You made silly mistakes because you did not check the answers at the end of the exam”
“How can you forget to put an alarm?” are remarks – helpless, angry, or matter of fact – which we are familiar with.
As we want our children to sail smoothly and as a result, we try to make it easy for them. Moreover, foolishly think that our step by step guidance will equip them to face future challenges while the opposite is true
We need to give them an open ecosystem to explore, to think, to fail, and to try again while we observe them with a consistent silent prayer on our lips.
This 24/7 prayer from the periphery has more power than any other zero-defect instruction booklet of the world.
Parenting is Not an Expectation, It is a Surprise
“I have sacrificed all my comforts in order to provide for her sports training”, “My child has fulfilled my childhood dream” are very common successes defining opening speeches.
Children can be molded into means of attaining pre-defined achievement or success but setting them free to explore the possibilities of a unique life is far more enriching and enlightening.
Micromanaging results in many wins but kids might lose their own stories in our repeated monologues.
It will always be refreshing and apt if we encourage our children to spin a surprise life for themselves while we pray from the periphery, being a consistent part of their journey.
Be a positive parent. Learn how to support your children. Therefore, parenting is not in authoritative ways. Let them explore and believe in their capabilities. By your guidance, they will be an achiever on their field.
If you find this best advice for new parents helpful, read more about positive parenting tips and learn how to nurture your children that they will enjoy a good life on our page, Principles of Good Parenting